A Lesson To Me

I will not complain about the things that I have the power to change.

This is senseless and useless...and most likely annoying to those that must hear it.

I don't really fear change. In fact, in this case it is most welcomed. I have the power to change it or at least try, and yet I do nothing. Why? Why is it easier to find excuses to not do something than to do it? When I take a step back and look, it seems to me that all things take time and energy. It takes both time and energy to complain or to actually do. And since the way you spend your energy effects the way you feel, doesn't it make sense to spend one's time and energy toward the change you crave? Human beings are stubborn creatures. No one chose this for me and no one can change it for me. With all this said, it is my goal to begin to do things that will accomplish the change that I crave. But until I do, I will not complain. It is senseless and useless! I want it so bad. Sometimes though I just have to get so fed up with myself I get up off my lazy ass and do something. This is how I've learned I operate on many things. Sad but true. I am the only one standing in my way, the only one that can do something, and the only one suffering (if you don't count those whose ears have had to endure all the previous complaints). All signs point to you have reached the point where the only option is change or suffer. No godmother, magic lamp, or pixie dust is going to appear and change everything. This isn't a movie. And I highly doubt that a miracle will occur on my behalf (though it is most welcome and will be highly appreciated). Therefore, it is me...and only me.

I think my biggest challenge oddly enough is that first step. As long as I can do any one thing that starts the ball in motion, I think I will be good. It doesn't really matter what or how small that step is, but the step must occur.

Ugh, just do something!!!

I am so frustrated with myself! This had drug out weeks past what it should have. And thanks to pulling my feet around, who knows when I will find the change that I need. I am an idiot, but at least I know it. That has to be better than an idiot who has no clue at all.

Hi, my name is Victoria, and I'm an idiot.

I don't really want to be an idiot.....